Book Review: The Princess and the Kiss

My cute and wonderful wife loves to change the decor in our living room every month or two. As part of that, she puts out collections of books and magazines, related to that particular theme. Last weekend was the big Valentine's Day push. Our house is now exquisitely arrayed in reds, pinks, and purples (very manly, I know!). On a lampstand sit several love-themed picture books, including this one: The Princess and the Kiss, by Jennie Bishop. What it lacks in action, it makes up for with a strong Biblical view of courtship and a heartwarming story that brings tears to our eyes, every time we read it together.

In the story, a baby girl is born to a King and Queen. God entrusts the new parents with a most precious gift: their daughter's First Kiss. As she grows, they dilligently guard their daughter's treasure, until she is old enough to be entrusted with it. Suitors then come, asking for her hand in marriage, and the story tells the tale of how she finds the only one to whom she will trust with her most treasured possession.

It's simple, but sweet, and appropriate for any age. It reads like a fairy tale and manages to teach a moral without sounding preachy. Our son loves to hear it each year, and I think it's a great opportunity for us to impart our views of dating, on to our son (even though we did not follow those protocols ourselves).

Now, for some background...

Although our son is not yet a teenager, it's never too early to develop a Biblical model of dating, for your children. Dating and relationships are difficult topics for parents to discuss, and Farrah and I want to avoid the mistakes that we feel our respective parents made when raising us. So, a couple years ago, we attended a talk on courtship, given by a pastor in our area, and our eyes were opened.

The Bible has lots of examples (good and bad) of how men and women got together (Adam and Eve, Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and Rachel and Leah, Sampson and his women, David and his women, Solomon and his women, etc...), but there is no single recipe for how God specifically wants his people to handle courtship.

While parents implement it to varying degrees, courtship is somewhere between the sterility of arranged marriages and the emotionally clouded, modern dating model. The basic idea is that the parents are responsible for their children's purity, and need to guide the process by which their children select a spouse.

Some of the guidelines include:

• A minimum age for courtship (possibly old enough to marry)
• Boy asks parents' permission first
• Boy and girl do not "go out", but get to know each other only as part of family activities
• Boy and girl study the Bible together with the families
• Affectionate behavior, including the first kiss, reserved for marriage

This may sound strict and maybe unrealistic, but it represents the moral high ground that our children and society so desperately need. Divorce rates are at an all-time high. Teen and out-of-wedlock pregnancies are rising. Domestic and same-sex "partnerships" are getting footholds as acceptable "lifestyles". If we are to salvage what's left of the traditional family and Biblical marriage as its cornerstone, we must make the effort to pass on those values to our children.